it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
