I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
