My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize
