I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
