How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
