I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
