god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
