"it" just moved
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
