dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
