he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
