planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
