Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
