No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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