just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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