I have demons in me.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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