Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
