just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
