just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
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