We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
