The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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