i think i have herpe
just one?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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