I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I wish i was in the wii world.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
