sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
