boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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