It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
