Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
