oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
