I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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