and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
