sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
