First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
