he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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