I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
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