I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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