We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
