had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Randomize
