Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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