Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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