he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
