I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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