i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
