what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
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