My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
