VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
