He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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