I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
