i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
