Porn is love you can see.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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