2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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