We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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